Sunday, February 17, 2013

To my children grown

What is there to say when it has been years since we've laid eyes upon one another?
What is there to do when the clock keeps ticking forward - never backward - and the muteness inside the space between us reigns supreme?
I, too, came from a broken family, a divorced mother and father, and a screwy world to run through, so I have a sense of what you might feel, what you may have been through, what your "evil" twin must have said between your ears in those dark moments when your heart was breaking and your confusion choked the life right of your body.
I'm betting you are strong and filled with light, now. I'm betting that those damaging lies we tell ourselves to explain away the pain have had their instant of command, and have slipped beneath the seas of your true "self," leaving you peace and confident serenity to hold you up when the going gets tough.
I'm betting you are yourself, and that's the best one can hope to be, truly!
No matter what, I love you.
No matter the distance, the silence, the absence - I love you.
And when I'm finally gone and your questions about me remain unanswered, that curiosity will drive you to become a better person, a better parent, a better human being than I was.
Every moment I had, I loved you. Every moment I lived, I loved you. And every pain-filled tear that watered the garden of my grief, let me know that you would be strong.


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