Monday, April 14, 2003

Rodeo brain I've got a rodeo brain today. You know, my thoughts are sparking off at 90 million per millisecond and I can't focus because the tumult is too erratic and violent. Pinging back and forth inside my head, electrical signals are firing from all directions and I feel like I'm strapped to a 2-ton bull that's enraged and fiercely trying to throw me. Huh? What's that you say? You don't get it. Well, you're not alone. Try reading "The Wasteland" by T.S. Elliot and you may begin to understand the way I'm feeling right now.
Of course, it will take you quite a while so you may want to simply take my word for it - life's very fuggin' weird from my POV.
And how did I get here? Too much TV? Too many movies? Too much debauchery when I was younger (much)? Not enough food in my belly? All of the above? None of the above?
Got to cover all the bases, don't you know.
It's a muggy, warm Monday here in northwest Texas, and I've tried to contact D to arrange some yard work but she's not answered yet. And so it goes.
Now, what am I using this BLOG site for, you might ask, especially when you haven't a clue who I am; but the truth is you DO know who I am and you do know what's going on. It's just a matter of accepting this fact and you'll be right in line with all this crazy chatter.
So I'll lean back for now, sip my coffee and watch last night's "Wire," which I taped.
It looks like I'll be giving up HBO and the other movie channels in the very near future (boohoo!) because I simply cannot afford the ridiculous rates they charge. Who's they? Why Cox Communications of course. And why not. They have a monopoly in this market and the City Council handed it to them on a silver platter, as the saying goes.
I'm getting damned tired of the consumer taking it in the ass while the corporations, businesses and stock brokers ride the money wave to riches and comforts most of us can only imagine in our wildest dreams.
Hitting the lottery is easier than getting rich as writer. Take my word for it. Society has discarded the value of art, introspection and spirituality and elevated the crass, the commercial and the shallow to the alter of religious fervor.
If you got nothing, you got nothing. Never mind what's on your mind; what's in your driveway? What kind of shoes do you wear? What kind of suits, shirts, watches and cufflinks do buy? There's the real religion for today's world.
And on the other side, what does 'spirituality' offer? Suffering (long indeed!), poverty and perseverance. Interested? But even that's not free. You have to pay some guru or some publishing company or other media outlet to get your marching orders for today's religious trek.
Aaaarrrgh! Life is sometimes nothing but an aching spot in the middle of my forehead. A pain that haunts the subterranean regions of my consciousness (whatever that means).
And so it goes.
All I can say is, god bless the soldiers fighting in Iraq; god bless the welfare mothers, abused children and hopeless drunks. God help us and bless us all. Amen.


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